Every
time that I look at the calendar I am shocked at how fast time is going! I
cannot believe that it is already March first and I have been in Uganda
officially for two months! Life is so good! I cannot believe at times how much
God has blessed me, it is far more than I could ever deserve. These last two
weeks have been really “normal” by my standards and there are no earth
shattering, funny or super exciting story’s to share. I can only tell what God
has been teaching me, and before anyone sends me angry messages about how
everything is a good story, I do know that everything is interesting I just
mean nothing out of the normal.
Probably
my biggest learning curve in the last month, and even since coming to Uganda,
came last week at our Thursday night bible study. I cannot really pinpoint what
made me realize this or come to the decision that I did but I came to have a
new theme, not only the next three and a half months, but for the rest of my
life. The theme of the year for our Watoto 360 class, and the entire church, is
Fresh Start, last week I realized that along with that my theme needs to be
surrender. One thing that I know about myself is that I have a hard time with
trust. I may say that I trust someone or
something but ultimately I still like to be the one in control. When something
matters to me I will do all that is in my power to make it happen and often I
find it incredibly hard to let another step in and believe that they will do as
good a job as I desire to do. I have
always said that I trust God and I know in my head that he requires me to live
a life of surrender to Him, and for the last 19, almost 20 years I have done a
very good job of letting myself believe that I have given everything up to God.
I haven’t. He is one person that I trust completely and know will always have
my best interest in mind but I still don’t give everything up to him. I still
like to hold onto many of my dreams, my fears, my hopes, my future and my past.
It is as if I tell God, “ok you can have this little piece of me but I am going
to keep the rest”, or at other times I will say with all sincerity, “ God it is
yours, take it all,” but then as life starts to become hard again I take back
all that I have given to Him. Well after
last week’s revelation I can say with honesty that I have begun to truly let
go. I am not perfect and both of the above situations will continue to apply to
my life but I have started to truly surrender. It seems that since making this
my theme every time I turn around God is showing me another area that I have
yet to give up to him and each time I let something go I find that it is a bit
easier than the last. I am learning that
just because I have surrendered something to The Lord does not mean that I no
longer care about it, I do not throw my hands in the air and say “God whatever
you want to do I don’t care go ahead,” but it does mean that though I still
care deeply I do not worry. I still present my prayers and petitions to Him,
and I will still labour in prayer but I no longer worry about the outcome. This is a journey that I am just beginning
and I know that there is still so so much that I have to work on, but already I
have been blessed with the peace that transcends all understanding in many of
the areas that I have given up. For that reason I can say with confidence that
God is so good!!! He is so far above anything that I can ever understand or
deserve but he loves me and walks with me every step of this journey that he
has placed me on.
To end
on a lighter and fun note, last week we were again in Subbi village, this time
not doing sports ministry but just spending time in the homes. I was incredibly
blessed to be in cluster six where there is no shortage of small children to
play with. After some wandering around I found them all and Thomas and I sat
down to teach them duck duck goose. It was not exactly the game we would play
at home with the kids but it was fun none the less. After that Thomas taught
them all how to be monkeys by lifting them into the trees nearby and in order to
keep some sense of order when they had received their turn they were to go sit
with “Aunty” Jess. There is one thing
that no one mentions to you when you are coming that I have come to realize is
quite important, and that is the difference between African hair and Muzungu (
white ) hair. Theirs does what it is told and does not move! It is not slippery
or soft but course and when it is put in small braids ( plaits) it needs no
elastic in order to stay in. Needless to say I have quickly learned that my hair
( being blond especially) is a novelty. When Thomas told the kids to go sit
with me he could not have predicted that I would not move for the next forty or
so minutes as I became the center of an impromptu salon. At any one time there were eleven pairs of
hands pulling and braiding and running their fingers through my hair. I have
seen the pictures and it was quite a sight! With one little girl, Hope, sitting
in my lap and eleven others all around me I was in my element. When Thomas told
me it was time to go I was quite sad and had no idea how to get up!! It may
sound easy but when you have twenty-two little hands in your hair it can be a
challenge! The other somewhat funny moment came when I found that my sandals
had been peed on , or as we say here susued on, by a little one who didn’t
quite make it inside. Well needless to say I did not wear them until later when
we could find water to wash them with. When I came back up top carrying my
shoes my house mates had a good laugh at the story.
So there you have it my last week has been
normal for me, challenging, but rewarding. The two things I would ask prayer
for is guidance into the future, not only for myself but all my house mates as
we try to discern what God desires for us after 360. Also if everyone could
keep Rashidah in their prayers. We went to visit her last week and it may be
the last time we see her as she is going to try to move in with some other
friends. She originally moved to the place she is now when she was expecting
and was promised help with the baby. Now that she is childless she is seen as a
burden and is not being cared for as she should be. She hopes to find work and
move and though I am saddened by the thought of losing this friend I do
understand and will do whatever I can to help her. So if everyone would pray
for her I would be incredibly thankful. May God bless you all at home, you are in my
prayers and I thank you for everything, each prayer and encouraging word means
the world to all of us over here.
Great blog entry Jessica. I really enjoy hearing about your journey with God and with the people of Uganda. Thoughts from Lesotho. ~Benno
ReplyDeleteI love hearing what God is doing in & through you Jess! I have had to learn that lesson of surrender over & over again. I'm afraid I don't always catch on too well:). It's so worth it though!
ReplyDeleteI love the stories you shared. I remember how the Africans loved our hair too:). I have thought often of Rashidah. Thanks for the update. I will be praying for her!
Thankz so much Heidi!!! I don't know if I posted it in this blog ( or at all yet) but Rashidah has moved to a place that is to far for us to go see her any more so we have got a new slum family. However she is still keeping in touch with Brian and she was at church on Saturday night. Praise God!!! I was so excited to see her I forgot about the language and cultural differences and gave her the biggest hug ever and started babbling how happy i was to see her. I am happy to have learned though that she is going to move again so there is a chance we will be able to see her more often .
ReplyDeleteThankz Uncle!!! I love you heaps hope all is going well for you to in Leesotho. Say hi to aunty for me :)
That would be so cool if you could see her more often!
ReplyDelete